Despite my complete devotion to my family, my spouse is unfaithful, and the children support him. When I went outside to get some fresh air during one of his parties, I unexpectedly stumbled into my first love. Then came an offer that left me breathless.. As I stirred the soup on the burner, I noticed that it was bubbling away from me. It was silent in the home, as it was every night. Jack then emerged through the front door. No “Hi,” no “How are you today?” My spouse did not give me a sidelong glance. He threw his coat upon a chair and started discussing his job. “Next week, there is another event,” he stated without skipping a beat. “You are going to be here.”
Knowing that anything I said would be meaningless, I meekly answered, “I do not want to go.” Jack continued, as usual ignoring my response. Work, the people he could impress, and how he appeared to them dominated his life. Not too long after, we were having dinner. Our 17-year-old son Lucas was already engrossed in his phone. He briefly raised his gaze to greet mine before returning to his texting. In an attempt to catch his attention, I replied, “You know, you might help set the table.”
Without raising an eyebrow, he muttered, “Yeah, maybe later.” Jack gave Lucas a quick glance and grinned, but he remained silent. Lucas always got what he wanted from him since he was the easy father. Money, an automobile, and no regulations.
Lucas saw Jack as the cool one, while I was just the nagging parent who made him eat his vegetables and study. Our 14-year-old daughter Mia, who was sitting across from me, was texting like her brother while keeping her head down. I hardly spoke to you anymore. She held Jack in the same regard as Lucas. He did not question her friends, did not stop her from going to parties, and did not say no. Mia blurted, “I am heading to Katie’s after supper.”“Not now,” he responded, brushing me off. “We will take care of it later.”
That has always been the case. It was up to me to say no and worry about the little things. However, Jack did not appear to be aware of the tension present at the table. He looked at me, then back at his watch. “Aim for six,” he instructed. Tonight, we are go to the celebration. And please, give me a grin. I have to leave my partners with a positive image.” I felt tiny as I gazed at my plate. An outsider in my own house. At my own table, a ghost. Nobody seems to notice, either.The party was as extravagant, boisterous, and draining as it always was. While Jack entertained his business partners, I remained to the side, exchanging jokes and shaking hands, totally oblivious to my presence. That was his reality. I was the scenery, nothing more.
I stood back and tried to blend in with the wallpaper while I observed. Then I caught sight of her. Claire. Again. She was too near to Jack and always present. When he spoke, I observed how she leaned in and how her smile stayed for an excessive amount of time. That was no accident. It was something I had seen far too often.