Shirley was a forty-year-old nurse employed in the United States. In search of better prospects, she had relocated from her homeland abroad. Her aging mother, who had no intention of transferring into an assisted living facility, was her housemate prior to her relocation. Every year, Shirley would take a plane back to see her mother and younger brother. She chose to meet in private with her younger brother, Alex, who had recently graduated from college earlier that year, after observing that her mother was becoming more and more unable to care for herself.
What if I went to check on her every weekend to make sure she had food and a clean house? He answered, “I do not want to live in the village with mom.” Although Shirley accepted this arrangement, she continued to worry about her mother. After three years, her brother fulfilled his vow to spend each weekend with their mother. However, Shirley found her 65-year-old mother to be too fragile to live alone when she returned for the holidays that year. Shirley told her brother, “We need to come up with another idea.” “Mom is no longer able to support herself.” Although he agreed, Alex was unwilling to relocate to the community. Shirley made the following suggestion: “How about you move back with her and I send you money every month to take care of yourself and mom?”
Her brother was more amenable to the suggestion, hoping the money would be enough to take care of necessities and have some fun.” I hope that it will be enough for the both of you,” Shirley said. Alex promised to move back home and take care of their mom. When Shirley left for the US, she was worried about whether her brother would adequately take care of their mom. She knew he enjoyed going out with friends, but she hoped he would meet his promises; it was their mother, after all. As she promised, she sent him money every month. It was not a large amount, but it was enough to take care of both of them.
However, instead of moving in with his mother, Alex continued to visit her every weekend and spend the rest of the money on himself. Shirley’s mother wanted to contact her daughter to tell her the truth, but she didn’t want to cause added stress to her. A year later, it was time for Shirley to revisit her family, but she decided to arrive on a different date to surprise her family. When she arrived home for the holidays, she was shocked to find her mom by herself. “Where is Alex? Shouldn’t he be taking care of you?” Shirley asked. Her mom told her that Alex would come to visit her once in a while, but he never moved back to live with her.
Shirley was furious. Every time she spoke with her brother, he promised that he was taking care of their mother.