Budgeting is important. But when my husband demanded I JUSTIFY every dollar I spent, even on essentials like diapers and tampons, I realized this wasn’t about money. So I played along, but he had no idea I was about to teach him the most expensive lesson of his life.
I never thought marriage would turn into a daily accounting session. Yet there I was, a mother of twin babies, writing down why I needed to buy diapers and shampoo like I was applying for a loan from the world’s most condescending bank. But trust me when I say this… the reckoning that followed was worth every humiliating entry in that little notebook.
Let me start from the beginning…
My husband, Ethan, and I had been together for six years, married for three. Before our twins arrived, we were equals. I had my marketing career and he had his finance job. We split expenses evenly and never argued about money.
“Look at us adulting like pros,” Ethan joked after we finished our monthly budget review. “Most couples fight about money, but we’ve got this down to a science.”
I laughed and clinked my coffee mug against his. “That’s because neither of us is trying to be the boss of the other’s wallet. Novel concept, right?”
Then I got pregnant with twins… and EVERYTHING changed.
We agreed I’d take a year off to care for our babies before returning to work. It seemed like a solid plan at the time.
The twins, James and Lily, arrived in a whirlwind of sleepless nights and endless diaper changes. I barely had time to shower, let alone worry about household finances.
But as months passed, I noticed the change in Ethan. It began with small comments, dropped casually like breadcrumbs leading to something darker.
“Holy cow, we’re burning through formula like it’s free,” he remarked one evening, eyebrows shooting up as I added it to our shopping list.
“Yeah, turns out babies don’t photosynthesize,” I replied dryly. “They need actual food! Crazy concept.”
He sighed. “At this rate, I might as well just hand my paycheck straight to the cashier and call it a day.”
The comments continued, gaining frequency and edge. One night, as I rocked Lily to sleep, Ethan appeared in the doorway, waving a receipt like it was evidence in a murder trial.
“Another grocery run? What is this, your third pilgrimage this week?”
“No, it’s my secret affair with the cashier,” I whispered sarcastically. “We needed diapers, Ethan. Unless you’d prefer the twins start using the backyard like the neighbor’s dog.”
The breaking point came on a Tuesday night. The twins were finally asleep, and I managed to cook an actual meal instead of ordering takeout.
Ethan sat down at the table, looking at the roast chicken with approval. “Wow, real food that doesn’t come in a delivery bag. I’m impressed.”
“Thanks,” I smiled, pouring water. “I figured we deserved something that didn’t taste like cardboard for once.”
He took a bite, then set down his fork with the deliberation of someone about to detonate an explosive. “I’ve been thinking about our spending.”
My stomach tightened. “What about it?”
“I think you need to be more mindful about spending since you’re NOT earning right now.”