I never expected to find a hearse at my wedding, much less one driven by my mother-in-law Linda. But there she was, rolling up to our ceremony in a polished black funeral vehicle, ready to deliver what she called a “special gift.” You know those moments in life that are so absurd you wonder if you’re dreaming? Well, my wedding day turned into one of those moments. And trust me, no amount of wedding planning could have prepared me for what happened.
My fiancé, Ben, and I always wanted a dreamy summer wedding. We’ve been together since high school and our wedding day was something I’d been looking forward to for years. As I stared into his eyes standing under a white flower arch, I couldn’t believe this was really happening. I couldn’t believe we were about to begin a new chapter of our lives. Ben’s hands were warm in mine as he read his vows, his voice soft with emotion. “Molly, from the moment we met…”
The sound cut through our ceremony like a knife. Two hundred heads turned toward the gravel path leading to our outdoor venue. That’s when we saw a massive black hearse crawling toward us.
“Oh God,” Ben whispered, his face draining of color. “Please tell me that’s not…” “Your mother? Of course, it is,” I muttered, watching Linda’s dramatic entrance unfold. This was classic Linda. I still remember the first time I witnessed one of her dramatic displays. It was our freshman year of high school. Linda had hired an entire mariachi band to follow Ben through the hallways all day because he’d forgotten to call her during his weekend at his dad’s. It was her way to teach him a lesson and show her importance.
I can still picture Ben’s mortified face as the band serenaded him in the cafeteria, trumpets blaring while Linda stood in the doorway ‘conducting’ them with dramatic flourishes. Who could’ve guessed that the red-faced boy trying to disappear behind his math textbook would become my husband? This wasn’t the only time she’d been super dramatic. I can never forget what she did at our engagement party last year. She showed up in a floor-length white wedding gown, donning a tiara and a cathedral veil. When my mom politely asked about her choice of attire, Linda blinked innocently and said, “Oh, I thought we were supposed to wear what we’ll wear to the wedding.”
Yeah, right, I thought when Mom told me about her response. She spent the entire evening twirling around, showing off the dress’s ‘superior quality’ compared to the one I’d chosen for my wedding day. But what she did this time was something totally different. “Maybe she’ll just park and quietly join the ceremony,” Ben’s sister Melissa whispered behind me as we looked at the car. I almost laughed. Linda? Quiet? The woman had spent the last three years making sure everyone knew exactly how she felt about me. How could she just quietly join our wedding ceremony this time?